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Dungeons
Summary (from YouTube) Dungeons & Dragons geeks meet...a girl. Transcripts {Adam, Matt, & Jason are sitting at a table, playing Dungeons & Dragons; Adam is the Dungeon Master. Jason raises his hand in a fist to make a roll.} JASON: I recite the magical incantation of Adaladar. {He drops a green die onto the table.} ADAM: The runes on the door to the Dragon's Lair glow red. (Matt moans in excitement.} MATT: Six months of questing, I can't believe we're finally here. My character sheds tears of joy. (He rolls a die.} ADAM: Ah, critical fail. Instead of crying, you break a leg. MATT: Oh, that's unfortunate. {As the guys are writing on their character sheets, breathing is suddenly heard. Matt & Jason look around, wondering where that noise is coming from. Adam picks up his cellphone, & that "breathing" turns out to be his ringtone. Darth Vader's voice is heard, as part of the ringtone, & Adam mouths his words.} DARTH: Luke, I am your ringtone. '' '''ADAM': Oh, that's me, guys. Let me take it. {Jason & Matt smile & nod as Adam stands up to talk in private.} ADAM (CONT'D): Hey, yeah! Hi! Oh, just hanging out with the guys doing... {Matt & Jason pretend to be weightlifting, showing their muscles.} ADAM (CONT'D): ...manly things. Playing Dungeons & Dragons. {Matt & Jason are displeased that Adam would reveal that.} MATT & JASON: {whispering} Oh, come on! ADAM: Oh, yeah, um, you can come over if you want. {Matt & Jason are suddenly shocked by this. Adam stammers for a second.} '' '''ADAM (CONT'D)': Yeah, okay, hello, bye. {He hangs up.} JASON: Uh, who did you invite?! Uh, one cannot simply join the Guild of Adventurers! {He places his right fist on his heart. Adam & Matt stand up & do the same thing.} ADAM & MATT: Huzzah, magic powers! {Matt then sits back down.} ADAM: Relax guys, it's just my cousin Carly. MATT: A girl? You can't invite a girl! My character left his formal robes back in town five moves ago. He's a total disaster. {He picks up a die & shakes anxiously.} MATT (CONT'D): What do I have to roll to get him a facial? {He rolls the die onto the table.} ADAM: Uh, critical fail. MATT: Dang it. ADAM: Besides, no facial is going to help... {He picks up Matt's character sheet to look at it.} ADAM (CONT'D): "Damian the Stout"? {Matt quickly takes it back from him.} MATT: He is a very attractive gnome. {Jason picks up & unfurls a scroll.} JASON: Well, according to the Guild of Adventurers-- {Adam & Matt jump out of their seats & that thing again with their right fists on their hearts.} ADAM & MATT: Huzzah, magic powers! {They then go back to their seats.} JASON: --charter, there are no rules against having a girl come because we never figured they'd actually want to be here, so... I guess we'll have to let her play. ADAM: Yeah, I guess so. CARLY (OFF-SCREEN): Uh, Adam, are you down here? ADAM: Yeah, come on down. Guys, this is Carly. {Carly comes in downstairs. Matt & Jason are stunned by her beauty; Jason is so stunned that he spills his drink down his shirt. Matt rises from his seat.} MATT: Milady! {He nervously pulls Jason out of his seat & dusts it off so Carly can sit.} MATT (CONT'D): Uh, I stand with skill in standing &, uh, bequeath to thee... {Chuckles nervously.} MATT (CONT'D): ...most zealous greetings. {to Jason, whispering} She is so hot! JASON: {whispering} I know! {Carly removes her hood & sits down} CARLY: Thank you. ADAM: So Carly, do we need to make you a character? I think I have some basic sheets with the-- {Carly opens up her shoulder pack & digs.} CARLY: Oh, no need! I'll just play my character, Avenglen Arado. {She pulls out her own character sheet.} CARLY (CONT'D): She's a Level 15 Elven Ranger, Steward of the Forest, & {whispers} Silent Huntress. {Jason gasps & he tries to take another drink. Unfortunately, just like before, he spills it down his shirt.}